Tombstone Tuesday - Isaac Grindstaff and Prudence Ledford

Headstone photos of my fourth great-grandfather Isaac Grindstaff (1774/6 - 1866) and his second wife Prudence Ledford (1812-1883). They are buried at Bakersville Cemetery in Bakersville, Mitchell Co, North Carolina. I believe this cemetery may have been originally called Grindstaff Cemetery because so many of the Grindstaffs are buried there. I understand there are two sections to this cemetery, one farther up the hill than the other. This photo was taken by my dear online friend and distant Grindstaff cousin, Anita Wages.

Noah Ledford and Clarissa Grindstaff

Noah Ledford and Clarissa Grindstaff are my 3rd great-grandparents. I have previously written about their daughter and my ancestor, Margaret Ledford, and her husband Robert Nelson McNeill.

Noah Ledford was born about 1813 in North Carolina, the son of Frederick Ledford and Prudence Curtis. The Ledford line may have come from Virginia and before that in England. This is unconfirmed information at the time of this writing. Clarissa Grindstaff was born about 1822 to Isaac Grindstaff and his first wife Sarah Hart. The Grindstaff line was of German ancestry and the original spelling was something along the lines of Crantzdorf, though I also have seen it with a K rather than the C spelling.

Noah and Clarissa were married about 1837 or 1838, likely in Yancey Co, North Carolina. They had the following children (dates are approximate):

• Prudence C (1839-1919) married John Kenneth Deane


• Isaac Leander (1840-?) married a Selena E and remained in the Mitchell and Yancey areas


• Sarah C( 1841-1893) married to David Ralph Silvers


• John (1843-?) married Mary Lowery and remained in the Mitchell Co area through at least 1900


• William Taylor (8 Aug 1848-13 Jul 1920) married Matilda Pannell Young. He died at Ledger, Mitchell Co. and is buried at Oak Grove Cemetery which is presumably in Mitchell Co.


• Margaret, my ancestor (1848-1927) Information on her family may be found here.


• Elizabeth (1850-2 Jun 1917) married Joe Pitman and died in Avery Co, North Carolina. She is buried in a "home grave yard" according to her death certificate.


• Henry (1853-1900) supposedly married twice to Jennie Johnson and Darcus Jones


• Phebey (1853-?) and may have married Anderson Pitman


• Curtis Allen (May 1858-9 Feb 1945)


• Clarissa Lucinda (19 Feb 1859-22 Mar 1949) married John Lenarde Young and is buried at Lily Branch cemetery in Mitchell Co, North Carolina


• Hazy C (1864-?)


• Harriet C (1866-1926) may have married a Clate Deane

Noah, Clarissa and children can be found in the 1850 Yancey Co, North Carolina census. In 1860, they are at Ledger again in Yancey Co. In 1870 they are no where to be found. I have done a page by page search of the Snow Creek township in Mitchell Co. where he is located in 1880 and never located him. Endless searches on Ancestry.com have also been fruitless.

Online trees indicate Noah died 23 Jan 1895. However, there is no source nor a cemetery listed. I had communicated with an individual who had much of the same information I had as listed above, but she had no indication of a source for the death date. It is unknown when Clarissa died but it was some time after 1900 when she is found in the Snow Creek, Mitchell Co, North Carolina census living with her son Curtis.

Ledford is still a very common name in Mitchell and Yancey counties as these early lines were very prolific. If you can share additional information with me, I'd be most appreciative. I can be reached by clicking on the contact button on the left side of the blog.

Sources are available upon request.

Tombstone Tuesday - Robert and Margaret Ledford McNeill

Headstone of my great-great-grandparents, Robert McNeill and Margaret Ledford. This is the only "evidence" I have that Margaret died in 1927. I have tried unsuccessfully obtaining a death certificate from the State of North Carolina as well as from Mitchell County (where she is buried) and Buncombe County (where the family lived by 1930 but could have been only after her death). Robert and Margaret are buried at Silver Chapel Baptist Cemetery in Bandana, Mitchell Co, North Carolina. This photo was taken by my dear online friend and cousin-in-law, H. McKinney in November 2004.

Robert Nelson and Margaret (Ledford) McNeill

My second great-grandparents were Robert Nelson McNeill and his wife, Margaret Ledford. My knowledge is rather limited of both of these individuals. However, what I have learned about their immediate family members helps round out their story.

Robert Nelson McNeill was born 29 Oct 1858, probably in Toecane, Mitchell Co, North Carolina, to Archibald H. McNeill and Jane Howell. He was their oldest child of two or possibly three children. Jane died in Nov 1862, thereby leaving a 4 year old Robert and a 1 year old sister, Elizabeth. There is a possibility there is another child, Laura, that may be Jane's or she could be the child of Archibald's second wife. In any regards, a small 4 year old little boy lost his mother much too young. To make matters worse, his father had already been away serving in Co. E, 6th NC Infantry and was injured at the second battle of Manassas. By the spring of 1864, Archibald had deserted the Confederate Army and married a second time to a young widow by the name of Sarah Ann (Sparks) Silver. Archibald then switched sides and joined the Union Army. I can only speculate that as the oldest child a lot of responsibility was placed up on Robert's shoulders as a young boy. Times were tough in Mitchell County if you were a Union sympathizer and I'm sure that extended to their families as well. Archibald returned from his service in the Union Army but with injuries severe enough to inhibit his ability to work more than about 50% on the farm. Once again, I suspect Robert learned how to do the work of a man while still a boy to fill the void of his father's injuries. His father died when Robert was just 28 years of age.

On Christmas Day 1877, Robert (age 19) married Margaret Ledford, a woman 10 years his senior. Margaret was born 24 Oct 1848 in Snow Creek township, Mitchell Co, North Carolina, to Noah Ledford and Clarissa Grindstaff. She was the sixth of 13 children.

By 1880, Bob and Peggie, as they were known, had settled in Snow Creek township (likely in the community of Bandana) and had the first of their three children, Dora E. who was born 11 Jun 1879. Hattie Emma followed on 22 Aug 1881 and my great-grandfather, Charles, on 18 Feb 1886. These three children gave Robert and Margaret 28 grandchildren.

Robert was not only a farmer, but he also learned the blacksmith trade, likely from his maternal grandfather, Thomas Howell. His occupation was a blacksmith in 1910, whereas up to this point he had been listed as a farmer. Obviously good with his hands, he supposedly helped construct the Silver Chapel Baptist Church in Bandana, according to a resident of that community. He also served as the 1920 census taker for his township. It should be noted he spelled his own name McNeal. Spelling is negotiable when it comes to these McNeills, McNeils, McNeals......

That year, Robert and Margaret were living with their son Charles and his family. Margaret died in 1927. According to family bible records it was June 8th. I have never been able to find a death certificate for her, as I have discussed previously. By the end of the 1920s, the Charles McNeill family had relocated to Asheville and Robert lived with them until his death on 22 Oct 1932. They are both buried in the cemetery at Silver Chapel Baptist Church, in sight of their homestead in Bandana.

Charles Lafayette and Della Winnie (Grindstaff) McNeill

I've spent several previous posts talking about my great-grandparents, Charles and Della McNeill. They can be found here:
Just the facts, ma'am,
My Serious Research Begins - Part 1,
My Serious Research Begins - Part 2,
The Mystery of an SSA Form, and
Lee and the 1930 census.

Those articles include a lot of dates and facts, but not about the type of people they were. I never had the opportunity to meet my great-grandparents, or to hear stories about them from my grandfather, so I have spent a lot of time trying to find those who did know them. Here are some snippets of those stories as well as some pertinent facts.

Charles Lafayette McNeill was born 18 Feb 1886, the youngest child and only son of Robert McNeill and Margaret Ledford. He spent his childhood in the Snow Creek area (likely Bandana) of Mitchell Co, North Carolina, where he married Della Winnie Grindstaff on 20 Feb 1911. Della was born 15 Mar 1893 to Rev. Isaac Grindstaff and Mary Woody. Charles and Della made their home in Bandana, Snow Creek Township, until sometime late in the 1920s. One of Lee's cousins wrote in a letter to me that they were doing well in the area and Charles owned the first automobile in the community and ran the Bandana post office from their home. They were considered good upstanding citizens.

This photo was given to me by a cousin. This is Charlie holding Anna, Lee is standing, and Della is seated. He thought the back had a date of 1911. However, I suspect it's closer to 1914 as Anna was born in October 1913 and she appears to be a year or a little younger in this photo. We assume this is their home in Bandana.

Charlie and Della had three children between 1912 and 1915: Lee, Anna and Belle. By 1920, another baby was born named Ben Arvel. This young little baby only lived about four months before he passed away. I can't imagine the pain of losing a child but was so common at the time. Ben is buried at Silver Chapel Baptist Church in Bandana, Mitchell Co, North Carolina, which is in sight of the McNeill home place. A fifth child, a son, was born about three years later.

A grandchild of Charles and Della recently told me that times were hard for the McNeills and eeking out a living in the mountains with four children proved to be difficult. By 1930 they were living in Asheville. My grandpa Lee was 18 and working as a stock room clerk, soon to join the Navy. Charles worked in a rayon mill. I believe his occupation is listed as Payroll Clerk. Certainly a lot different than farming in Mitchell Co. Also at that time, Charles' father was living with the family and would for another couple of years until his death in 1932. Another reason for a move to Asheville might have been that Della had a sister, Mrs. Etta Thomas, living there.

What happens over the next few years is unclear, but obviously the Depression is in full swing and times grew progressively harder. By 1940 Charles was in Fletcher, North Carolina. Within a few years, all his children would have left home to start their own families and he and Della moved to Jacksonville, North Carolina by the early 1950s. There they either owned or managed some housing that was used by the military personnel from a nearby base. By the 1960s, they had moved to the Kannapolis area outside Charlotte to be closer to their daughter Belle. I think she likely helped care for them in their older years.

A resident of Bandana shared this story with me. Charlie was known to have a good collie dog and one day he took the preacher home for dinner. To demonstrate the dog's abilities, he said, "Out Shep". Apparently much like my own dog, Shep had a mind of his own and didn't move. Charlie repeated the command and stomped his foot. Then Shep ran under the bed to which Charlie purportedly replied, "Or under the damn bed, whichever you please."

This same lady also shared that in their later years, Charlie and Della would go camping on Grandfather Mountain in the summer at times for nearly as long as a month. Obviously this love of camping and the great outdoors was not passed along to this great-grandchild. Marie at Blue Ridge blog has some beautiful photos of the area though hers are primarily farther to the northeast than Mitchell Co. Nonetheless, they are spectacular. I can see why camping in these mountains would have been appealing.

Though he was known as a stern man and very established in his ways (he insisted on McNeil with one L only though ironically I've seen a form he completed with two L's on it), numerous people have told me about his musical talent and his ability to make his own violins. I think that must be a very special gift (again one that did not pass on to this great-grandchild). A cousin recently shared this photo of Charlie and Della proudly displaying two violins. The date the photo was taken is not known.

So as stern as Charlie was known to be, Della was known to be "sweet and kind". I have never heard an ill word spoken about her and everyone repeatedly has stressed what a wonderful person she was. Her sweet dispostion may have tempered Charlie's stern one. No matter the circumstances, they were married for 49 years until his death in 1970 in Kannapolis. Della passed away in 1979. A kind soul sent me photos of Charles and Della's gravestones from the Carolina Memorial Park in Concord, Cabarrus Co, North Carolina.

What I wouldn't give to go back in time and have the opportunity to visit with them, even for an hour. So many questions, and never the opportunity.

Lee and the 1930 census

By the time the 1930 census was released on Ancestry.com, I felt I had made decent progress. I had found the 1920 census for the Charles McNeill family; the 1910 census for Charles McNeill and Della Grindstaff shortly before their marriage; the Social Security applications for Lee, Charles and Della; and I knew tentative dates and locations of the deaths of Charles and Della.


After I had not-so-patiently waited for a searchable index to be put together, I typed in Charles McNeill in Buncombe Co, North Carolina. I think I was nervous and worried that I wouldn't be able to find the family. After some digging, they were found listed as McNeal living in Asheville, renting a home at 44 Ormond Avenue (1). The household consisted of the following: Charles L, age 43, married at age 25, and working as a clerk in a rayon mill; wife Della, age 36, married at age 18; Lee W, age 18, working as a stock room clerk in a department store; Anna K. age 16; Ora B. age 14; Riley B. age 6; Robert N., father, age 71, widowed. Later communication with a cousin indicated the family had hit financial hard times living in the mountains of Mitchell Co, so they relocated to Asheville for work.

Lee's age for two consecutives censuses matched a birth year of 1912. So he lived his entire married life saying he was born in 1915, but lied about his age to join the Navy, when in reality he lied about his age to his wife and children. This also proved that he was still living at home in April 1930 and had yet to join the Navy. This census proved the old family chart I had that listed the two sisters and a brother. I knew that Margaret (Ledford) McNeill had died prior to this but didn't know if it was in Buncombe or Mitchell counties.



What I've done since finding this census:

I have determined that no death certificate appears to exist for Margaret who died in about 1927 or 1928. I had a fellow researcher and friend visit the Mitchell County office where these are house and she couldn't locate it. I've scoured the online database at Ancestry.com for the death certificates and can't find it. I've come to the conclusion, sadly, it's just not to be found. Robert died a couple of years after this census. They are both buried at Silver Chapel Baptist Cemetery in Bandana, Mitchell Co., North Carolina.


I've corresponded with Lee's first cousin in Hickory who shed some light on the circumstances surrounding Lee's disappearance. Charles was a stern man and probably some stubborn pride on both sides led to Lee fleeing out the cousin's bedroom window to avoid his father and consequently was never seen or heard from again.


I've learned a little about each of the sisters and their families. Anna went north to the "big city". One cousin told me they didn't exactly know where, I've heard from another that it was New York City. She apparently married a Starrett and had one child named Charles in about 1941. Ora Belle, or Belle as she was known, married a Lee Roy Simerly and had three children. I've recently come into contact with the two surviving children. They have been kind enough to share a few stories and a couple of photos.


Lee's brother married, had several children, and moved away from North Carolina. As a result of a message board post I did several years ago, a husband of Lee's niece contacted me and we've shared quite a bit of information, including pages of the family bible that led me to the above information on Anna and Belle. This man has been most generous with his time and research. He has also been incredibly helpful with issues of Y-DNA and help with researching genetically. He runs two surname projects through FTDNA so he knows his stuff. In a later post, I will discuss our Y-DNA findings.


(1) 1930 U.S. Federal Census (Population Schedule), Asheville, Buncombe Co., North Carolina, Dwelling 274, Household 287, Charles McNeal household, jpeg image, (Online: The Generations Network, Inc. 2002) [Digital scan of original records in the National Archives, Washington, DC], subscription database, http://www.ancestry.com/, accessed ca 2003.

My serious research begins - Part 1

About 1998, I began to get serious about trying to pursue my family history. I wanted some cold, hard facts and at the time I think I mentally prepared myself for the worst and secretly hoped for the best, or at least something better than the worst. I had no idea what I'd find out about Lee or if I could even find someone still living who would remember him or his family.

The cousin my grandma had communicated with in the 1980s had sent a typewritten chart prepared by Charles L. McNeill, Lee's father, that covered at least four generations of Charles' ancestry as well as his wife's, Della Grindstaff. It listed five children of Charles and Della with no birthdates: Lee Wesley, Anna Kate, Ora Belle, Ben Arvel, and Riley Barton. The tree also indicated Charles (1886-1970) was the son of Robert McNeill (1858-1932) and Margaret Ledford (1848-1927) while Della (1893-1979) was the daughter of Isaac Grindstaff (1852-1936) and Mary Jane Woody (1853-1946). Part of Lee's story was that he was born in Asheville, Buncombe Co, North Carolina. However, the cousin told us that the McNeills and Grindstaffs were actually from Mitchell Co, North Carolina, but had later moved to Asheville to find work. So I had a starting point...........

Thank goodness for the internet. I began by reviewing message boards and mailing lists on various websites including Rootsweb, Ancestry.com, and Genealogy.com. I could find quite a bit about the earlier generations of Grindstaffs, Ledfords, McNeills and Woodys, but little from the early part of the 20th century. I naively made some attempts at posting some messages after lurking for a long time and got a few replies, but nothing that was a pot of gold.

Next I turned to online census records. At the point I got this far it was probably 2001 or 2002. I remember all the excitement over the release of the 1930 census and I could hardly wait to see if I could find Lee and his family. While I waited for the 1930 North Carolina census records to be on the website, I diligently searched the 1920 and 1910 censuses for Charles McNeill and Della Grindstaff. This was also about the time I realized that spelling is optional....at least as far as the name McNeill is concerned.

The first discovery was the 1920 census. Charles L. McNeal and wife Della were listed as the first household in Snow Creek Township, Mitchell Co, North Carolina (1). Charles was age 33, married, and a farmer born in North Carolina. Wife Della is age 26, also born in North Carolina. Seeing the following children is what gave me chills up my spine: Lee Wesley, son, age 8; Anna Kate, daughter, age 6; Ora Belle, daughter, age 4. Also living in the household were Charles' parents listed as Robt N., father, age 61, occupation is blacksmith, and Margrett, mother, age 72. Both were born in North Carolina as well as their parents. As I looked to the top of the page to find the date the census was taken (2nd & 3rd of January, 1920), I noticed that the census taker was actually Robt. N. McNeal. What better household to begin with than your own!


(1) 1920 U.S. Federal Census (Population Schedule), Snow Creek Township, Mitchell Co., North Carolina, Dwelling 1, Household 1, Charles McNeal household, jpeg image, (Online: The Generations Network, Inc. 2005) [Digital scan of original records in the National Archives, Washington, DC], subscription database, http://www.ancestry.com, accessed 2002.